youtube.com/merchantsofreality
RAUL’S NIGHT
by
Baraka Noel
Baraka Noel
OCMR 2392
Oberlin, OH 44074
301 – 452 – 2355
FADE IN
INT. SNACK BAR – NIGHT
RAUL and TIN, college age, sit in a booth. Tin is wearing a hat and trendy clothes, finishing a sandwich. His nice leather jacket is draped across the booth. There’s one pickle fragment and some potato chip dust on his plate. Raul, in jeans and a hoodie, sits across the booth, without food. His shabby backpack sits beside him on the seat.
TIN
You could get laid tonight, if you
wanted.
RAUL
I’m so fucking hungry.
INT. SANDWICH BAR – MOMENTS LATER
Raul stands at the sandwich bar, looking at KATIE, a hot girl in the checkout line. He watches as she buys her food and sits down at a booth with KATIE’S FRIEND. He turns back to the sandwich bar and SANDWICH GIRL is kissing OBNOXIOUS MAN.
RAUL
Could I get a sandwich?
Sandwich Girl and Obnoxious Man glare at Raul.
SANDWICH GIRL
I’m off duty. (to Obnoxious Man) I’ll
see you tonight?
OBNOXIOUS MAN
Yeah, we can go to the movie—
RAUL
There’s no one else working.
SANDWICH GIRL
Could you hold on? (to Obnoxious Man)
Call me.
They kiss again and Obnoxious Man walks around the counter, and starts browsing.
SANDWICH GIRL
Do you know what you want?
Raul examines the menu.
RAUL
Five dollars for a sandwich, now?
SANDWICH GIRL
Yes. Do you know what you want?
RAUL
Could I – just gimme a second.
Sandwich Girl waits a second.
SANDWICH GIRL
Are you ready yet?
RAUL
Yeah, hold on.
Sandwich Girl sighs, rolls her eyes, makes it obvious that she is annoyed.
RAUL
Just a minute. Okay. Um. Lemme get
foccacia bread. Pepper turkey. Yeah.
SANDWICH GIRL
Lettuce? Tomato?
RAUL
Um. No. No tomato. Lettuce, Muenster,
um … could I … let me get red peppers
and whole grain mustard and just a
little mayonnaise. No no no no no. Yeah,
just … that’s enough.
The sandwich looks amazing and delicious.
SANDWICH GIRL
Chips and a pickle?
RAUL
No. Yeah, sure, yeah.
Sandwich Girl hands over the sandwich and goes off into the kitchen.
RAUL
Thank you so much. Please come again.
Raul walks through the aisles. He grabs a pint of ice cream and browses the soda cooler. Sandwich Girl, wearing a coat, walks up behind him.
SANDWICH GIRL
Could you move, please?
She pushes past Raul, grabs a soda, and leaves. Raul grabs a soda and goes looking for more food.
INT. CHECKOUT LINE
Some HIPPIES are leaving the checkout counter, with bags and bags of food. Raul searches for his ID card.
HIPPIE 1
Is that going to be enough Cheetos?
HIPPIE 2
Dude, you got to learn to share.
CHECKOUT LADY looks bored. The Hippies walk away with their food. A few people walk past the checkout line, toward the food aisles. Tin is having an animated conversation with Katie and Katie’s Friend. Raul continues looking for his ID.
RAUL
I have it. Hold on. Hold on.
He rushes over to his booth and looks through his backpack, but doesn’t find the ID card.
RAUL
Fuck.
Raul carries his backpack to the checkout counter. There is now a line, and Obnoxious Man is behind him in line. He pulls his wallet out of his backpack.
RAUL
How much is it again?
CHECKOUT LADY
$12.62
Raul has no bills in his wallet.
RAUL
How much for the Fig Newtons?
CHECKOUT LADY
$2.14
He starts counting his change: one quarter, a bunch of nickels and pennies, a few dimes.
OBNOXIOUS MAN
Could we move it along, please?
He doesn’t have nearly enough change. He stuffs his change back in his wallet and puts his wallet back in his bag.
RAUL
I … ?
CHECKOUT LADY
$12.62
RAUL
I don’t have my card.
Checkout lady turns her attention to Obnoxious Man. Raul stands by, helpless, with his food.
CHECKOUT LADY
Just a smoothie?
She swipes Obnoxious Man’s ID card. Raul tries to sneak a bite of sandwich.
CHECKOUT LADY
Do you have $4.98? Then, you’re going
to have to leave it on the counter.
RAUL
What are you going to do with it?
CHECKOUT LADY
We’ll have to throw it away.
RAUL
Can’t I just have it then?
CHECKOUT LADY
No.
RAUL
But, you’re throwing it away anyway.
Can’t I just have a bite?
CHECKOUT LADY
Do you have $4.98?
RAUL
No. I don’t have $4.98.
Checkout Lady looks smug.
RAUL
Can I go get my card and come back?
Checkout Lady nods.
RAUL
I’ll be right back.
Raul starts to leave with his food.
CHECKOUT LADY
You have to leave the food here.
EXT. TAPPAN SQUARE – NIGHT
Tin and Raul walk across Tappan Square – a small park between campus and the center of town – lit by old fashioned street lamps. A wooden sign reads: Tappan Square.
TIN
I could have flexed you in.
RAUL
Nah.
TIN
It’s not even real money. It’s just
flex.
RAUL
No. I have to get my card anyway,
before my room gets … taken over.
TIN
(amused)
That’s right. You’re sexiled tonight.
RAUL
Yup. Steve’s girlfriend is back again.
Everyone’s getting laid but me … this
fucking week. Shoot me in the face.
TIN
Why are you doing this? You’re going to
sit around fucking moping all night,
because one girl doesn’t want you? Fuck
that.
RAUL
So, what?
TIN
So let’s go to Cleo’s.
RAUL
No.
TIN
Why not?
RAUL
Phoebe’s going to—
TIN
Jesus.
RAUL
With fucking Rob.
TIN
Could you please, like, listen to
what you’re saying for a second?
RAUL
I don’t feel like being reminded of—
TIN
Yes. Yes, okay. You’re a failure loser
dipwad fuck up dumbass douche bag …
what?
RAUL
Loser.
TIN
I said loser.
RAUL
Double loser.
TIN
Why are you so focused on this one
chick?
RAUL
I don’t even care. I’m tired of the …
mating rituals and games and … do you
know how long it’s been?
Raul stops underneath a streetlight. He puts down his bag.
RAUL
I haven’t kissed a girl in three
months. Kissed. When was the last time
you had sex, yesterday? This morning?
TIN
That … okay. Alright. Granted, I’m
pretty lucky right now. But, what about
you? I know – for a fact – of three
girls who want you right now. For a fact.
If you can’t capitalize on that, that’s
your fucking fault. I can’t help you.
Tin continues down the path. There’s a large rock in the grass next to the sidewalk, which SPRAY MAN is spray painting with the words: Greg, it’s over.
RAUL
Three?
TIN
Yeah. Well. One for sure. Another one
I’m pretty sure.
RAUL
That’s two.
TIN
Well … yeah. And then – there’s … I
have a hunch.
RAUL
Why’d you say three?
TIN
It’s like three. It’s kind of – three
sounds more impressive. It just sounds …
Three! … you know?
RAUL
So, there’s only two?
TIN
Well, one for sure.
RAUL
What happened to—
TIN
Fuck you; be happy someone likes you.
Raul reflects on that.
RAUL
Who is it?
Tin doesn’t respond.
RAUL
Is it Phoebe?
Tin stops walking.
TIN
You’re hopeless …
Tin starts walking again.
TIN
You’re hopeless.
RAUL
Who?
TIN
No, fuck you. You don’t deserve to know.
RAUL
What, who? Who? Tin … I swear to God.
TIN
Jesus Christ. It’s so obvious. No. You
can not be that clueless.
RAUL
Who?
TIN
Guess.
RAUL
I don’t … I don’t know. Who?
TIN
Guess.
RAUL
I don’t know.
TIN
You didn’t even guess.
RAUL
Cleo?
TIN
(Very amused)
Don’t be ridiculous.
RAUL
Jesus; I don’t know … Why is that
ridiculous?
TIN
It’s … nothing. Never mind.
RAUL
No. Why is that—
TIN
Katie.
RAUL
Why – are you … what? Are you serious?
TIN
She told me.
RAUL
Katie?
TIN
Katie.
RAUL
Hot Katie. Oops-I-dropped-my-pencil-
let-me-bend-over-and-pick-it-up Katie.
TIN
Yeah. She wants you.
RAUL
Are you shitting me?
TIN
Why, you like her?
RAUL
Fuck you. Stop fucking with me. Katie
Crane really likes me?
TIN
Jesus Christ. Yes.
RAUL
How do you know?
TIN
She told me.
RAUL
What?
TIN
She was talking about you.
RAUL
What? What did she say?
TIN
She said … okay. This is a quote. She
said, “Tell Raul to call me tonight,
if he wants to play.”
RAUL
WHAT? When?
TIN
Just now. Just a second ago.
RAUL
Why didn’t you tell me? I can’t fucking
believe you. Did you get her number?
TIN
No.
RAUL
Why not!
TIN
Don’t you have it?
RAUL
No. I don’t know. Fuck! No.
TIN
So … what are you going to do?
RAUL
But, isn’t she with that guy?
TIN
What guy?
RAUL
That cock-jock. Dennis? Denny?
Remember? We saw him at Denny’s and
started making fun of him—
TIN
Oh, yeah – he wanted to fight us
RAUL
—and we had to skip out on the bill.
TIN
Oh, god, yeah.
RAUL
Aren’t they together?
TIN
So what?
RAUL
So if they’re—
TIN
Maybe they broke up. Who cares.
Raul turns to look in the direction of the snack bar.
RAUL
Do you think she’s still there?
TIN
I don’t know.
RAUL
Wait, Tin. Hold up. Do you think she’s
still eating?
TIN
What do I have, telescopic sight, now?
You want me to, like, go-go-Gadget
binoculars?
RAUL
No, but I’m just … just tell me. Is she
still there or not?
TIN
I’m here with you. How do I know where
Katie Crane is?
RAUL
Stop being an asshole.
TIN
Dude. I don’t know. I don’t know if
she’s still there.
RAUL
Shit.
TIN
She probably is.
RAUL
You think so?
TIN
Yes. Maybe. She just got her food when
I was talking to her.
Raul looks at Tin, stares in the direction of the snack bar, and sprints off. Tin follows.
INT. SNACK BAR – MINUTES LATER
Raul bursts into the room and looks around. Katie is gone, replaced by an UNATTRACTIVE COUPLE. Tin goes outside. Checkout Lady is eating Raul’s ice cream.
CHECKOUT LADY
Did you get your card?
RAUL
I …
CHECKOUT LADY
$12.62
RAUL
No. I didn’t …
Checkout Lady opens his box of Fig Newtons.
CHECKOUT LADY
I can’t leave this food sitting out
all night.
She starts eating his Fig Newtons.
RAUL
Okay. Fine.
Checkout Lady dumps his sandwich into the trash. Raul goes outside.
EXT. OUTSIDE SNACK BAR
Raul stands around helplessly.
TIN
I really thought you had her number.
RAUL
Whatever, it’s fine.
TIN
You wanna … try and find her?
RAUL
Fuck.
TIN
What?
RAUL
Where’s my backpack?
Raul goes back inside the snack bar. Tin lights a cigarette.
INT. SNACK BAR
Raul looks around, doesn’t see his backpack. He glares at the unattractive couple and goes back outside.
EXT. OUTSIDE SNACK BAR
Tin is smoking, silhouetted in the lamplight.
TIN
Not in there?
RAUL
No.
TIN
I think you dropped it.
RAUL
Yeah.
EXT. TAPPAN SQUARE
Raul and Tin retrace their steps.
TIN
You want to try and find Katie tonight?
RAUL
I don’t know where she lives.
TIN
South campus, somewhere. (beat) I’m
pretty sure she has a single.
RAUL
She’s so hot.
They walk for a short while in comfortable silence.
TIN
So, What-the-Fuck of the Day: I’m
talking to Kat; and she basically says
she wants to give me head. Pretty much,
she told me she wanted to suck my dick.
But Caitlin’s, like, getting sick of the
open relationship thing.
RAUL
That is not a What-the-Fuck.
TIN
Why?
RAUL
It’s completely not valid. That’s You’re
a-Lucky-Bastard. What-the-Fuck is—
A guy on a bike comes flying by and almost hits Raul
RAUL
—Jesus. Um. (beat) Like, today in soc.
– I don’t know how it came up – we had
this whole conversation about how the
world is fucked.
Raul starts to get animated.
RAUL
And everyone’s fucking like “yeah, I
heard if we continue using our
resources at this rate, the Earth only
has fifty years” and all this bullshit.
Everyone loves to talk about how fucked
we are, but nobody does shit about
anything. What-the-Fuck?
TIN
No; it’s totally—
RAUL
Not valid. So not valid.
TIN
I’m saying, though. She’s like friends
with Caitlin. That’s fucked up. You
should have been there; she was … oh
man – she’s so fine too.
RAUL
What are you? It’s like you live this
fucking fantasy life. How do you exist?
I’m serious. How do you exist in the
world?
TIN
Fuck you – whatever. Just cuz you’re in
a dry spell right now; you had a bad
week and you’re—
RAUL
I’m not even talking about me. You’re
just this walking lottery ticket.
You’re like, like … who’s lucky?
Someone lucky. I hate you.
RAUL
You really need to not complain ever.
TIN
I’m not even complaining.
Tin stops walking.
RAUL
Whatever, man.
TIN
I think this is where we were.
RAUL
I don’t see it. It’s not here.
TIN
Well, look.
RAUL
It would be right here.
Tin looks around for the backpack.
TIN
Is that a dollar?
Tin picks up a dollar from the grass.
RAUL
That’s what I’m talking about. I lose
my backpack. You find a dollar.
Everything fucking works out for you.
TIN
It’s a twenty.
Raul is speechless.
TIN
You want to get some food?
RAUL
I want to find my backpack. But, if
you’re too busy acquiring wealth …
TIN
It’s not my fault you can’t keep track
of your shit.
RAUL
Fuck it. Let’s go find Katie.
TIN
She probably stole it. That bitch.
RAUL
Oh well.
TIN
Was there anything important in there?
RAUL
My cell phone. My keys. My wallet.
Shit.
TIN
Why would you leave that in your
backpack?
RAUL
Fuck you. I don’t have any pockets.
TIN
Okay. Sorry. Maybe someone picked it up.
You want to check in Wilder?
RAUL
It won’t be there.
TIN
It’s not like you have anything worth
stealing.
RAUL
Fuck you, man.
TIN
I’m just saying. Might as well check.
RAUL
Right.
TIN
Bright side. Katie wants you.
RAUL
Right.
TIN
Katie.
RAUL
You’re right. I’ll call Katie. Oh, wait,
I forgot. YOU DIDN’T GET HER NUMBER.
TIN
You can ask at the desk. They have all
the numbers.
Tin’s phone starts to ring.
TIN
Hold on.
Tin moves away to talk on the phone. Raul stands, bored, and we hear Tin’s conversation.
TIN (O.S.)
Hey. Oh, hi. What’s up? Yeah … um …
yeah, no; it’s no problem. Aw, I love
you. No, I love you. Of course, baby.
Of course I will. I’ll see you tonight?
mmmmm … I can’t wait. Oh wow. Okay,
I’ll be right there. Okay. Bye.
Tin comes back over to Raul.
TIN
Um. I just have to go see Caitlin. Real
quick. She left her wallet in my room.
Raul gestures a grudging acceptance.
TIN
Sorry, I’ll be right back.
RAUL
No, it’s fine. I’ll go to Wilder.
TIN
I’ll come find you?
RAUL
Sure.
Raul heads toward the Student Union.
INT. STUDENT UNION MAIN AREA
Raul goes to the information desk – a counter with a computer behind it – but, there’s no attendant.
RAUL
Excuse me. Hello. Is there anybody
working? Jesus.
He starts to walk away from the desk.
ATTENDANT 1
Do you need anything?
Raul turns, and now there are three ATTENDANTS behind the desk. Attendant 1, a helpful stoner, is leaning on the counter.
RAUL
What? Yes.
ATTENDANT 1
Well?
RAUL
Um. My backpack. I just lost my backpack.
It’s probably not here. I don’t know.
ATTENDANT 1
What does it look like?
RAUL
It’s … small and green. Black straps. I
think it’s a Jansport.
ATTENDANT 1
Wait. Hold on … we might have one like
that.
Attendant 2 looks up. He’s kind of dumb.
ATTENDANT 2
Yes. Someone just brought in a green
backpack. Is it a Jansport?
RAUL
I don’t know. I think so.
Attendant 3, a bitchy girl, is holding the backpack.
ATTENDANT 3
How do we know it’s yours? Can you prove
it’s yours?
RAUL
What? Could I just see it?
ATTENDANT 3
I don’t know. Do you have any proof?
RAUL
No.
ATTENDANT 3
Then I can’t show you the backpack.
ATTENDANT 2
She can’t show you the backpack if you
don’t have proof.
RAUL
I can’t prove that it’s my backpack.
Could you please show it to me.
ATTENDANT 1
Do you know what’s in it? If you can tell
us what’s inside, then maybe it’s yours.
RAUL
(flustered)
Fine. Does it have a cell phone in it?
ATTENDANT 1
Does it?
Attendant 3 paws through the bag.
ATTENDANT 3
(reluctantly)
Yes.
ATTENDANT 2
Then you have to give him the bag.
Attendant 3 hands over the bag. Raul examines it, but it’s not his bag.
RAUL
No. This isn’t mine.
ATTENDANT 3
See!
COPY GIRL comes up to the desk and asks for help with the copy machine. Attendant 1 goes to help her.
ATTENDANT 2
Give it back. Excuse me, give me the
bag.
The phone behind the desk rings.
RAUL
I’m not trying to steal the bag. Okay?
Here.
Raul hands the bag back. Attendant 3 answers the phone.
ATTENDANT 3
Hi, baby. No, it’s fine.
Attendant 2 starts organizing the lost and found.
RAUL
Wait. Excuse me.
Attendant 3 gives Raul a dirty look and mouths “phone.”
RAUL
Excuse me? Hi.
Attendant 2 looks up.
ATTENDANT 2
Just a minute.
Raul waits for a minute. Attendant 2 keeps reorganizing the same three items, moving them around, straightening.
RAUL
I just need one quick thing.
ATTENDANT 2
Just a minute.
He gets all the items lined up perfectly, then goes to the front counter.
ATTENDANT 2
Yes?
RAUL
Do you have the Fussers?
ATTENDANT 2
I’m sorry?
RAUL
The Fussers. The directory?
ATTENDANT 2
I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.
RAUL
The Fussers. Do you have the phone
directory? The list of phone numbers.
ATTENDANT 2
You mean the phone list?
RAUL
Yes. The phone list.
ATTENDANT 2
I’m not sure. I don’t think so.
RAUL
This is the information desk. You don’t
have the directory?
Attendant 2 stares at him, blankly.
RAUL
The phone list! You don’t have it?
ATTENDANT 2
I’m really not sure.
RAUL
Well, could you look?
Attendant 2 glances around.
ATTENDANT 2
I don’t see it.
RAUL
Maybe it’s under the desk. Could you
please look for it?
ATTENDANT 2
I don’t think we have it.
RAUL
You have it. You‘re working at the
information desk. This is the
information desk. You definitely have
the directory.
ATTENDANT 2
I’m sorry, maybe we used to have it,
but I really don’t see it.
RAUL
(to Attendant 3)
Excuse me. Do you know where the …
phone list is?
Attendant 3 glares at him.
ATTENDANT 3
I’m on the phone.
She turns back to her conversation.
ATTENDANT 3
No, I’m listening.
Attendant 1 comes back to the desk.
RAUL
(almost frantically)
Do you know where the phone list is?
ATTENDANT 1
Yes.
Attendant 3 gets off the phone. Attendant 1 effortlessly finds the directory, which is under the desk, and hands it to Raul.
ATTENDANT 1
Here you go.
RAUL
Thank you!
He flips through and finds the name.
RAUL
Katie Crane. Can I use the phone?
ATTENDANT 3
That phone is not for personal phone
calls.
Raul is silent.
ATTENDANT 1
You can use the phone upstairs, or the
one downstairs.
RAUL
Thank you.
Raul heads upstairs.
INT. TIN’S DORM ROOM
Tin and Caitlin are standing in the doorway, kissing heavily. The room is bathed in red; sexy music is playing.
TIN
I should really go.
CAITLIN
Okay.
They keep making out; Caitlin starts to unbutton Tin’s shirt.
INT. STUDENT UNION UPSTAIRS PHONE
Raul comes upstairs. Katie’s Friend is on the phone, sobbing.
KATIE’S FRIEND
Can’t we just stay together? Please?
David? David, please don’t hang up.
Please! I’m sorry.
Katie’s Friend clings to the receiver and collapses against the phone. Raul waits for her to stop, but she continues clinging to the phone and sobbing. Raul turns and heads back down the stairs.
INT. STUDENT UNION DOWNSTAIRS PHONE
Obnoxious Man is on the phone downstairs.
OBNOXIOUS MAN
Why don’t we just go tomorrow, then?
We don’t have to see it tonight. No,
well, I want to see it too, but if
you’re tired … I know. Well … well,
you could take a nap, and we could see
a later show. I don’t mind. Well, think
about it … no, I’ll wait.
Obnoxious Man stands in silence, holding the phone.
RAUL
Do you think I could use the phone?
Real quick.
OBNOXIOUS MAN
I’m using it.
RAUL
Right. (pause) I couldn’t help but
notice you’re not talking.
OBNOXIOUS MAN
I’m on the phone. Use the pay phone.
RAUL
I don’t have …
Obnoxious Man turns his attention back to the phone.
OBNOXIOUS MAN
You sure? Okay? So, we’ll just go
tomorrow. Sure.
Obnoxious Man gives Raul a pointed look.
OBNOXIOUS MAN
No, I’ve got lots of time … really? No,
that does sound like a weird dream.
Raul goes back upstairs.
INT. TIN’S DORM ROOM
Tin is shirtless, on his bed. The sexy music and lighting intensify. Caitlin takes her shirt off.
TIN
Just five minutes.
Caitlin slips out of her pants.
INT. STUDENT UNION MAIN AREA
Attendant 3 is back on the desk phone. Raul turns toward the stairs. Katie’s Friend is coming down the stairs. Raul sprints upstairs.
INT. STUDENT UNION UPSTAIRS PHONE
Raul grabs the phone. He realizes he doesn’t have the number.
RAUL
Fuck.
INT. STUDENT UNION MAIN AREA
Raul hastily scribbles Katie’s phone number from the directory onto his hand and sprints back upstairs.
INT. STUDENT UNION UPSTAIRS PHONE
Raul checks the number and dials. The phone rings and MARY answers.
MARY
(filtered)
Hello?
RAUL
Hi. Katie?
MARY
(filtered)
No.
RAUL
Is Katie there?
MARY
(filtered)
No. She moved. This isn’t her room
anymore. Hold on. I’ll be right there.
RAUL
Um. Okay. (pause) Could I get her
new number?
MARY
(filtered)
I don’t know the number.
RAUL
Do you know where she moved?
MARY
(filtered)
I’m coming. Look, I have to go.
Mary hangs up.
RAUL
Shit.
Raul hangs up.
INT. STUDENT UNION MAIN AREA – 10:40
Raul is sitting on a couch in the Student Union. He looks at the clock.
INT. STUDENT UNION UPSTAIRS PHONE
Raul picks up the phone and calls Tin.
INT. TIN’S DORM ROOM
Caitlin is going down on Tin. The phone rings and rings, barely audible beneath the music.
INT. STUDENT UNION UPSTAIRS PHONE
Raul hangs up the phone.
RAUL
Bastard.
Raul goes back downstairs.
EXT. STUDENT UNION
Raul walks down the stairs of the Student Union. It starts to drizzle. He walks toward Tin’s dorm in the rain.
EXT. TIN’S DORMITORY
Raul stands outside of Tin’s dorm. He can’t get in, because he doesn’t have his ID. Raul bangs on the door. The building does not have an awning. It rains harder.
INT. TIN’S DORM ROOM
Caitlin and Tin, having sex, are interrupted by the sound of small rocks hitting the window.
RAUL
(O/S)
Tin!
Tin and Caitlin stop having sex.
CAITLIN
What is that?
One pane of the window shatters and a rock flies into the room.
EXT. TIN’S DORMITORY
Raul stands in the rain, holding a rock, looking up at Tin’s broken window.
RAUL
Shit.
INT. TIN’S DORM ROOM
Raul, wet and annoyed, stands near the door. The rain stops. Caitlin is leaving, sheepishly.
CAITLIN
You sure you don’t want to come?
TIN
Where are you going?
CAITLIN
Denny’s. I just have to get off campus.
TIN
Yeah …
Tin gestures to Raul.
TIN
… I can’t really go.
Caitlin leaves, closing the door.
RAUL
Fuck you, man.
TIN
Did you find the number?
RAUL
You’re a fucking asshole, you know
that?
Tin’s dorm phone rings. Tin checks his caller ID.
TIN
It’s Cleo.
RAUL
I’m not going to the party.
TIN
Well, I’ll let you explain that to Cleo.
Tin picks up the phone.
RAUL
Don’t. No.
TIN
Hello? Hi. Yeah, I know. I was on my
way, but … well, hold on. Talk to Raul.
RAUL
Tin—
Tin puts the phone next to Raul’s head.
RAUL
Hi, Cleo … No. I’m sorry, I … I’m
supposed to be hanging out with Katie
tonight … Katie Crane. She is? Yeah,
I’ll … okay … we’ll be right there.
Raul quickly hangs up the phone.
RAUL
Let’s go.
TIN
I thought you weren’t going to the
party.
RAUL
I changed my mind.
TIN
Are you sure?
Raul tries to drag Tin out the door.
RAUL
Come on.
TIN
Wouldn’t want to make any hasty
decisions.
RAUL
Tin—
TIN
I’m coming.
Tin grabs a book from his bookshelf.
TIN
I just have to catch up on …
He checks the title.
TIN
Anna Karenina. This is the best part.
It’ll just take a second.
Raul gives Tin a dirty look.
TIN
No, it’s really good.
Raul grabs the book from his hand and throws it across the room.
TIN
I’m coming.
Tin grabs his jacket and Raul hurries him out the door.
INT. CLEO’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The house is packed. Tin and Raul enter. ROB and PHOEBE are making out on a couch near the door. Phoebe is gorgeous; Rob is a creep.
RAUL
Oh my God, it’s Phoebe.
Tin peers down at the couch.
TIN
That’s Phoebe?
RAUL
Hide.
Raul looks for someplace to hide, but there’s nowhere.
TIN
You’re an idiot.
Tin moves toward the center of the room.
RAUL
I’m leaving.
Raul starts to go, but he trips and bumps into ROB’S FRIEND, who shoves him towards the couch.
ROB’S FRIEND
Watch where you’re going.
Raul stumbles into the couch. Phoebe, entwined with Rob, looks up.
PHOEBE
Raul, hi. Have you met Rob?
ROB
Hi.
RAUL
Hi.
They pause for an awkward moment. Then, Raul turns away and Phoebe and Rob resume making out. Attendant 2 and Spray Man walk out the door, holding hands.
SPRAY MAN
Greg, I have something to show you.
INT. CLEO’S HOUSE
Raul and Tin have moved away from the couch. Raul stands, awkwardly, while Tin scopes out the room. The Hippies are chanting in the corner of the room.
HIPPIES
Trombong! Trombong! Trombong! Trombong!
Attendant 1 carries The Trombong, a trombone rigged up to serve as a bong, into the room. The Hippies take turns on The Trombong.
RAUL
Why is my life such a horribly awkward
social disaster?
KAT sees Tin and rushes over. She’s tiny, wearing a skimpy outfit.
KAT
Raul, hey.
She wraps herself around Tin.
KAT
Hi Tin.
TIN
Hi.
RAUL
Kat, um—
KAT
(to Tin) Did you come with Caitlin?
TIN
No.
RAUL
Have you seen Katie?
KAT
I don’t think so. (to Tin) Are you
doing anything after the party?
RAUL
Oh my God, nachos.
Raul flees towards the food.
TIN
I don’t know. I’m supposed to do stuff
with Raul. He had a really shitty week.
KAT
Yeah, I heard. That’s so horrible.
TIN
He’s … overreacting.
KAT
No. Have you ever had a dog die? It
totally sucks.
TIN
What are you talking about?
KAT
Raul’s dog … this little, like,
Chihuahua or something, got, like eaten
by a pit bull.
TIN
Are you fucking me?
KAT
He didn’t tell you?
TIN
No. He just told me about shit with
this girl.
KAT
Phoebe? Yeah, that’s pretty fucked up
too. (slight pause) So, do you want to …
TIN
I don’t know.
KAT
Why?
Kat lowers her voice.
KAT
Because of Caitlin? I thought you
had an open relationship.
TIN
Well …
KAT
So you can do what you want.
TIN
Yeah.
KAT
Okay.
INT. SNACK TABLE
Raul is tearing into a huge plate of food and guzzling a Sprite. CLEO sees him and comes over. She’s wearing a dress over pants, crazy socks, and a button that says “Birthday Girl.”
CLEO
Enjoying the comestibles?
RAUL
Do you have any meat?
CLEO
I think you’re out of luck, Sancho.
RAUL
I hate vegetarians … did you just call
me Sancho?
CLEO
I always think of you as Sancho Panza
to my Don Quixote. I never told you
that?
RAUL
Who’s the windmill?
CLEO
You mean Cyclops. You are my Cyclops,
also.
RAUL
I don’t want to be the Cyclops. Cyclops
are ugly.
CLEO
Well, you can’t have everything; can you
dear?
RAUL
Have you seen Katie?
CLEO
Noooooooooooooo.
RAUL
Is she still here?
CLEO
I did a bad thing.
RAUL
What, did she leave?
CLEO
Come here. (whispers) I only said she
was here so you’d come to my party,
dipshit.
RAUL
She’s not here?
CLEO
Before you yell, you should probably
wish me a happy birthday. It’s the
custom. And you’re almost out of time.
RAUL
I’m sorry. Happy Birthday. But, is she
here?
CLEO
Doesn’t matter. I know what to expect
from you. Though, I can’t believe you
were going to skip my party.
RAUL
Cleo—
Cleo takes a carrot stick off of Raul’s plate.
CLEO
What are you doing with Katie Crane,
anyway? Or, more accurately, what do
you wish you were doing with Katie
Crane?
RAUL
Is she here?
CLEO
Raul. Could we please focus on what’s
important? What does my present look
like? What is the shape? I like them
square. Cubed.
RAUL
I’ve got to go. I have to find Tin.
CLEO
I would check upstairs.
RAUL
Already? Jesus.
CLEO
But – Raul – seriously. Stay away from
Katie. That whole crowd … is that what
you really want? Those girls are bad
for you. You’re going to end up like
Tin.
RAUL
Do you know where Katie lives?
CLEO
Did you hear what I said?
RAUL
Look, I understand. But, it’s not a big
deal.
CLEO
Then, why are you looking for her?
RAUL
I’m just really stressed. I want to
relax.
CLEO
I didn’t know she was a masseuse.
RAUL
Could you stop?
CLEO
Although, from what I hear, her room
is kind of like a massage parlor. With
lots of customers.
RAUL
Are you done? Cuz, I’m going to go.
CLEO
Have fun.
Raul walks away.
INT. CLEO’S HOUSE
Raul walks through the living room. Rob is standing in the doorway, talking on a cell phone.
ROB
Okay, I’ll be right there.
Rob’s Friend walks up.
ROB’S FRIEND
Your girlfriend is looking for you.
ROB
I know.
Rob walks out the front door and down the sidewalk.
INT. CLEO’S BEDROOM DOOR
Raul stands outside of Cleo’s bedroom. Tin and Kat are having sex inside the room, not loudly, but audibly.
EXT. CLEO’S BACK PORCH
Raul is sitting on Cleo’s back porch. Cleo comes up and sits next to him.
CLEO
You’re still here? Which means they
must still be up there. Which is just
as well.
RAUL
What makes you say that?
CLEO
Kat’s boyfriend just got here.
RAUL
I’m pretty sure he’s an ex, now.
CLEO
I’m guessing they don’t see eye to eye
on that. He’s about to flip out.
RAUL
He’s actually not a bad guy, though.
Extenuating circumstances.
CLEO
I should go back inside and bond with
him. Our exes are having sex; doesn’t
that makes us, like, second cousins?
RAUL
I think – in Kansas.
CLEO
Hey, look what I found.
Cleo gives Raul his backpack.
RAUL
Where did you find this?
CLEO
On Tappan.
Raul goes through the backpack, everything is still inside.
RAUL
Thank you.
Katie looks away.
CLEO
Look, if you really want to know where
Katie lives, I’ll tell you. (pause) She
lives in South 320.
A gesture of defeat.
CLEO
Go in peace.
Cleo goes back inside. Raul makes his way through the party, out the front door, and down the sidewalk.
INT. KATIE’S HALL
Raul walks down the hall, looking at the names and numbers on the doors. 320 and 321 are both labeled Katie. Raul hesitates between the two. He eventually chooses 320 and knocks on the door.
KATIE
(O/S)
Just a minute. Could you get it?
Several moments pass before Rob, wearing boxers, opens the door. Raul rechecks the name on the door.
RAUL
What are you doing here?
Rob stares at Raul, trying to place him.
RAUL
Is Katie here?
ROB
Katie.
KATIE
(O/S)
What?
Rob gestures to Raul. Katie comes to the door, partially clothed. Raul shuffles, uncomfortably.
RAUL
… Tin said you wanted to hang out.
KATIE
What?
RAUL
What’s up?
KATIE
I’m kind of busy.
RAUL
Yeah. Maybe we could hang out later?
KATIE
Okay. Bye.
Katie closes the door. Raul wanders down the hall.
EXT. THE QUAD – LATE NIGHT/EARLY MORNING
Raul walks across the grass. There’s nobody around, except Attendant 3 and Rob’s Friend making out in the middle of the quad.
INT. SNACK BAR
Raul sits in a booth, behind Sandwich Girl and Obnoxious Man. Listening to their conversation, Raul becomes progressively annoyed.
SANDWICH GIRL
No one else could do that. No one else
could even try to do it.
OBNOXIOUS MAN
That’s because, he’s … Michael Moore is
the archetype. If you want to look at
people who are making a difference, who
are you going to look at? You going to
look at politicians? Because you can’t
look to politicians. You want to look
at the media?
SANDWICH GIRL
No.
OBNOXIOUS MAN
Because, what is the media doing?
SANDWICH GIRL
What does the media do, except,
except—
OBNOXIOUS MAN
Except broadcast crap and, and attempt
to brainwash the public, in support of
a weak liberal-centrist agenda. So, you
can’t look to the media. But, what does
he do? It’s genius. The man is his own
media.
SANDWICH GIRL
And his own politics.
OBNOXIOUS MAN
But not controlled by business and
not driven by a need—
SANDWICH GIRL
A thirst.
OBNOXIOUS MAN
A thirst for power. A need to be
re-elected. And that’s why he’s able to
do as much as he does.
Raul gets up and starts railing at them.
RAUL
What does Michael Moore do? What the
fuck does he do? He makes stupid people
look stupid. He – who is he helping?
All it is … is complaining about how
shitty everything is and who’s fault
it is. You can sit there and blame
everybody else, but it’s not going to
make anything better. Why don’t you
take some responsibility for yourself?
Jesus.
Sandwich Girl and Obnoxious Man are appalled.
EXT. STUDENT UNION – NIGHT
Raul stands outside in the dark. He’s alone for a while, and then Phoebe walks by.
RAUL
Phoebe, hey. How was the party? Where
are you going?
PHOEBE
I’m just walking.
RAUL
Want some company?
PHOEBE
Sure.
They walk for a minute; Raul looks for something to say.
RAUL
How was the party?
PHOEBE
It was a long night.
RAUL
Yeah? Me too, for the ninth time this
week.
PHOEBE
What do you mean?
RAUL
Nothing. It was just a bad week.
PHOEBE
What happened?
RAUL
… bunch of stuff. My dog died. You know?
PHOEBE
Yeah.
RAUL
What about you?
PHOEBE
What?
RAUL
What happened?
PHOEBE
Oh. I had a bad night. So I took a walk.
RAUL
Yeah.
PHOEBE
Have you seen Rob?
RAUL
… no. Why?
PHOEBE
Someone said you left the party
together. Or left at the same time.
Nevermind, it’s stupid.
They walk in silence for a moment.
RAUL
It’s too bad the project’s over. I
really liked working with you.
PHOEBE
Yeah. It was fun.
RAUL
It was.
PHOEBE
Raul. Can I tell you something?
RAUL
What?
PHOEBE
(slowly)
I feel kind of alone. I mean, I have
a boyfriend and everything, but …
RAUL
… what?
PHOEBE
… I’m sorry if I led you on.
RAUL
What? Oh … no. What do you mean?
PHOEBE
I just – I think I sort of gave out
mixed signals.
RAUL
I don’t think so. I mean … thank you,
but …
PHOEBE
This is my dorm.
INT. PHOEBE’S DORMITORY
Phoebe and Raul enter the dorm.
RAUL
So, are you going to sleep, now?
PHOEBE
I think I’ll be up for a while.
Phoebe leads Raul towards her room.
INT. PHOEBE’S ROOM
Raul and Phoebe sit on the bed, eating ice cream.
PHOEBE
He always, you know, when I get mad, he
knows what to say to make me not mad
anymore. But then he just disappears.
RAUL
What are you going to do if it turns
out he’s cheating?
PHOEBE
He is. He so is. God. I’m so stupid.
RAUL
No. (pause) I guess I should go.
Phoebe moves closer on the bed and hugs Raul.
PHOEBE
Thanks for listening.
He starts to gather up his things and move towards the door.
RAUL
I’ll see you later.
PHOEBE
Do you want to stay?
Raul stops.
RAUL
I should … go to sleep. (long pause)
Bye.
He walks out; the door closes behind him.
EXT. PHOEBE’S DORMITORY
Raul walks across the quad.
EXT. CLEO’S HOUSE
Raul walks up Cleo’s front steps.
INT. CLEO’S HOUSE
Raul walks in. The house is a mess; Cleo is cleaning up.
CLEO
Isn’t it traditional to stay the night?
I didn’t know you were such a Lothario.
RAUL
Are you cleaning up by yourself?
CLEO
Are you helping?
RAUL
Ouch.
Raul starts cleaning up.
INT. CLEO’S HOUSE – A WHILE LATER
The room is marginally cleaner; Raul and Cleo are still straightening up.
RAUL
Did I miss anything good?
CLEO
You missed Kat flipping out when,
surprise, Tin left with someone else.
Oh, and the Hipsters came out to play.
RAUL
Fun.
CLEO
I captured one. He separated from the
flock to criticize my CD collection and
I held him captive for twelve minutes
on the topic of Herzog’s early classics.
RAUL
No way.
CLEO
Twelve minutes.
RAUL
That’s a new record. We need to
celebrate.
Raul goes to the snack table for alcohol, but all the bottles are empty.
RAUL
Too late. So, why aren’t you trashed?
It’s your birthday.
CLEO
I’m 21. I have the rest of my life to
get trashed.
RAUL
You didn’t drink at all?
CLEO
I took a hit from the Trombong.
RAUL
Just one?
CLEO
A big hit.
RAUL
So, it was a good party?
CLEO
Well, I’ll be washing my sheets, tomorrow.
So I must have had a good night.
RAUL
Clearly.
Comfortable silence.
CLEO
Should I assume you’re crashing here?
Raul half-shrugs. They gather up the last cups and dishes, carry them to the kitchen, turn out the lights, and head upstairs.
INT. CLEO’S BEDROOM
Raul and Cleo enter Cleo’s bedroom. Cleo disposes of a condom wrapper and makes the bed. They go to sleep on top of the covers in a platonic, but semi-suggestive position.
CLEO
Good night.
Raul mumbles unintelligibly and rolls over.
FADE OUT
barakanoel 
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