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RAUL’S NIGHT


by


Baraka Noel

Baraka Noel

OCMR 2392

Oberlin, OH 44074

301 – 452 – 2355

FADE IN

INT. SNACK BAR – NIGHT
RAUL and TIN, college age, sit in a booth. Tin is wearing a hat and trendy clothes, finishing a sandwich. His nice leather jacket is draped across the booth. There’s one pickle fragment and some potato chip dust on his plate. Raul, in jeans and a hoodie, sits across the booth, without food. His shabby backpack sits beside him on the seat.

TIN

You could get laid tonight, if you

wanted.


RAUL

I’m so fucking hungry.


INT. SANDWICH BAR – MOMENTS LATER
Raul stands at the sandwich bar, looking at KATIE, a hot girl in the checkout line. He watches as she buys her food and  sits down at a booth with KATIE’S FRIEND. He turns back to the sandwich bar and SANDWICH GIRL is kissing OBNOXIOUS MAN.

RAUL

Could I get a sandwich?


Sandwich Girl and Obnoxious Man glare at Raul.

SANDWICH GIRL

I’m off duty. (to Obnoxious Man) I’ll

see you tonight?


OBNOXIOUS MAN

Yeah, we can go to the movie—


RAUL

There’s no one else working.


SANDWICH GIRL

Could you hold on? (to Obnoxious Man)

Call me.


They kiss again and Obnoxious Man walks around the counter, and starts browsing.

SANDWICH GIRL

Do you know what you want?


Raul examines the menu.


RAUL

Five dollars for a sandwich, now?


SANDWICH GIRL

Yes. Do you know what you want?


RAUL

Could I – just gimme a second.


Sandwich Girl waits a second.

SANDWICH GIRL

Are you ready yet?


RAUL

Yeah, hold on.


Sandwich Girl sighs, rolls her eyes, makes it obvious that she is annoyed.

RAUL

Just a minute. Okay. Um. Lemme get

foccacia bread. Pepper turkey. Yeah.


SANDWICH GIRL

Lettuce? Tomato?


RAUL

Um. No. No tomato. Lettuce, Muenster,

um … could I … let me get red peppers

and whole grain mustard and just a

little mayonnaise. No no no no no. Yeah,

just … that’s enough.


The sandwich looks amazing and delicious.

SANDWICH GIRL

Chips and a pickle?


RAUL

No. Yeah, sure, yeah.


Sandwich Girl hands over the sandwich and goes off into the kitchen.

RAUL

Thank you so much. Please come again.


Raul walks through the aisles. He grabs a pint of ice cream and browses the soda cooler. Sandwich Girl, wearing a coat, walks up behind him.

SANDWICH GIRL

Could you move, please?


She pushes past Raul, grabs a soda, and leaves. Raul grabs a soda and goes looking for more food.

INT. CHECKOUT LINE
Some HIPPIES are leaving the checkout counter, with bags and bags of food. Raul searches for his ID card.

HIPPIE 1

Is that going to be enough Cheetos?


HIPPIE 2

Dude, you got to learn to share.


CHECKOUT LADY looks bored. The Hippies walk away with their food. A few people walk past the checkout line, toward the food aisles. Tin is having an animated conversation with Katie and Katie’s Friend. Raul continues looking for his ID.

RAUL

I have it. Hold on. Hold on.


He rushes over to his booth and looks through his backpack, but doesn’t find the ID card.

RAUL

Fuck.


Raul carries his backpack to the checkout counter. There is now a line, and Obnoxious Man is behind him in line. He pulls his wallet out of his backpack.

RAUL

How much is it again?


CHECKOUT LADY

$12.62


Raul has no bills in his wallet.

RAUL

How much for the Fig Newtons?


CHECKOUT LADY

$2.14


He starts counting his change: one quarter, a bunch of nickels and pennies, a few dimes.

OBNOXIOUS MAN

Could we move it along, please?


He doesn’t have nearly enough change. He stuffs his change back in his wallet and puts his wallet back in his bag.

RAUL

I … ?


CHECKOUT LADY

$12.62


RAUL

I don’t have my card.


Checkout lady turns her attention to Obnoxious Man. Raul stands by, helpless, with his food.

CHECKOUT LADY

Just a smoothie?


She swipes Obnoxious Man’s ID card. Raul tries to sneak a bite of sandwich.

CHECKOUT LADY

Do you have $4.98? Then, you’re going

to have to leave it on the counter.


RAUL

What are you going to do with it?

CHECKOUT LADY

We’ll have to throw it away.


RAUL

Can’t I just have it then?


CHECKOUT LADY

No.


RAUL

But, you’re throwing it away anyway.

Can’t I just have a bite?


CHECKOUT LADY

Do you have $4.98?


RAUL

No. I don’t have $4.98.


Checkout Lady looks smug.

RAUL

Can I go get my card and come back?


Checkout Lady nods.

RAUL

I’ll be right back.


Raul starts to leave with his food.

CHECKOUT LADY

You have to leave the food here.


EXT. TAPPAN SQUARE – NIGHT
Tin and Raul walk across Tappan Square – a small park between campus and the center of town – lit by old fashioned street lamps. A wooden sign reads: Tappan Square.

TIN

I could have flexed you in.


RAUL

Nah.

TIN

It’s not even real money. It’s just

flex.


RAUL

No. I have to get my card anyway,

before my room gets … taken over.


TIN

(amused)

That’s right. You’re sexiled tonight.


RAUL

Yup. Steve’s girlfriend is back again.

Everyone’s getting laid but me … this

fucking week. Shoot me in the face.


TIN

Why are you doing this? You’re going to

sit around fucking moping all night,

because one girl doesn’t want you? Fuck

that.


RAUL

So, what?


TIN

So let’s go to Cleo’s.


RAUL

No.


TIN

Why not?


RAUL

Phoebe’s going to—


TIN

Jesus.


RAUL

With fucking Rob.


TIN

Could you please, like, listen to

what you’re saying for a second?


RAUL

I don’t feel like being reminded of—


TIN

Yes. Yes, okay. You’re a failure loser

dipwad fuck up dumbass douche bag …

what?


RAUL

Loser.


TIN

I said loser.


RAUL

Double loser.


TIN

Why are you so focused on this one

chick?


RAUL

I don’t even care. I’m tired of the …

mating rituals and games and … do you

know how long it’s been?


Raul stops underneath a streetlight. He puts down his bag.

RAUL

I haven’t kissed a girl in three

months. Kissed. When was the last time

you had sex, yesterday? This morning?


TIN

That … okay. Alright. Granted, I’m

pretty lucky right now. But, what about

you? I know – for a fact – of three

girls who want you right now. For a fact.

If you can’t capitalize on that, that’s

your fucking fault. I can’t help you.


Tin continues down the path. There’s a large rock in the grass next to the sidewalk, which SPRAY MAN is spray painting with the words: Greg, it’s over.

RAUL

Three?


TIN

Yeah. Well. One for sure. Another one

I’m pretty sure.


RAUL

That’s two.


TIN

Well … yeah. And then – there’s … I

have a hunch.


RAUL

Why’d you say three?


TIN

It’s like three. It’s kind of – three

sounds more impressive. It just sounds …

Three! … you know?


RAUL

So, there’s only two?


TIN

Well, one for sure.


RAUL

What happened to—


TIN

Fuck you; be happy someone likes you.


Raul reflects on that.

RAUL

Who is it?


Tin doesn’t respond.

RAUL

Is it Phoebe?


Tin stops walking.

TIN

You’re hopeless …


Tin starts walking again.

TIN

You’re hopeless.


RAUL

Who?


TIN

No, fuck you. You don’t deserve to know.


RAUL

What, who? Who? Tin … I swear to God.


TIN

Jesus Christ. It’s so obvious. No. You

can not be that clueless.


RAUL

Who?


TIN

Guess.


RAUL

I don’t … I don’t know. Who?


TIN

Guess.


RAUL

I don’t know.


TIN

You didn’t even guess.


RAUL

Cleo?


TIN

(Very amused)

Don’t be ridiculous.

RAUL

Jesus; I don’t know … Why is that

ridiculous?


TIN

It’s … nothing. Never mind.


RAUL

No. Why is that—


TIN

Katie.


RAUL

Why – are you … what? Are you serious?


TIN

She told me.


RAUL

Katie?


TIN

Katie.


RAUL

Hot Katie. Oops-I-dropped-my-pencil-

let-me-bend-over-and-pick-it-up Katie.


TIN

Yeah. She wants you.


RAUL

Are you shitting me?


TIN

Why, you like her?


RAUL

Fuck you. Stop fucking with me. Katie

Crane really likes me?


TIN

Jesus Christ. Yes.


RAUL

How do you know?


TIN

She told me.


RAUL

What?


TIN

She was talking about you.


RAUL

What? What did she say?


TIN

She said … okay. This is a quote. She

said, “Tell Raul to call me tonight,

if he wants to play.”


RAUL

WHAT? When?


TIN

Just now. Just a second ago.


RAUL

Why didn’t you tell me? I can’t fucking

believe you. Did you get her number?


TIN

No.


RAUL

Why not!


TIN

Don’t you have it?


RAUL

No. I don’t know. Fuck! No.


TIN

So … what are you going to do?


RAUL

But, isn’t she with that guy?

TIN

What guy?


RAUL

That cock-jock. Dennis? Denny?

Remember? We saw him at Denny’s and

started making fun of him—


TIN

Oh, yeah – he wanted to fight us


RAUL

—and we had to skip out on the bill.


TIN

Oh, god, yeah.


RAUL

Aren’t they together?


TIN

So what?


RAUL

So if they’re—


TIN

Maybe they broke up. Who cares.


Raul turns to look in the direction of the snack bar.

RAUL

Do you think she’s still there?


TIN

I don’t know.


RAUL

Wait, Tin. Hold up. Do you think she’s

still eating?


TIN

What do I have, telescopic sight, now?

You want me to, like, go-go-Gadget

binoculars?

RAUL

No, but I’m just … just tell me. Is she

still there or not?


TIN

I’m here with you. How do I know where

Katie Crane is?


RAUL

Stop being an asshole.


TIN

Dude. I don’t know. I don’t know if

she’s still there.


RAUL

Shit.


TIN

She probably is.


RAUL

You think so?


TIN

Yes. Maybe. She just got her food when

I was talking to her.


Raul looks at Tin, stares in the direction of the snack bar, and sprints off. Tin follows.

INT. SNACK BAR – MINUTES LATER
Raul bursts into the room and looks around. Katie is gone, replaced by an UNATTRACTIVE COUPLE. Tin goes outside. Checkout Lady is eating Raul’s ice cream.

CHECKOUT LADY

Did you get your card?


RAUL

I …


CHECKOUT LADY

$12.62


RAUL

No. I didn’t …


Checkout Lady opens his box of Fig Newtons.

CHECKOUT LADY

I can’t leave this food sitting out

all night.


She starts eating his Fig Newtons.

RAUL

Okay. Fine.


Checkout Lady dumps his sandwich into the trash. Raul goes outside.

EXT. OUTSIDE SNACK BAR
Raul stands around helplessly.

TIN

I really thought you had her number.


RAUL

Whatever, it’s fine.


TIN

You wanna … try and find her?


RAUL

Fuck.


TIN

What?


RAUL

Where’s my backpack?


Raul goes back inside the snack bar. Tin lights a cigarette.

INT. SNACK BAR
Raul looks around, doesn’t see his backpack. He glares at the unattractive couple and goes back outside.

EXT. OUTSIDE SNACK BAR
Tin is smoking, silhouetted in the lamplight.

TIN

Not in there?


RAUL

No.


TIN

I think you dropped it.


RAUL

Yeah.


EXT. TAPPAN SQUARE
Raul and Tin retrace their steps.

TIN

You want to try and find Katie tonight?


RAUL

I don’t know where she lives.


TIN

South campus, somewhere. (beat) I’m

pretty sure she has a single.


RAUL

She’s so hot.


They walk for a short while in comfortable silence.

TIN

So, What-the-Fuck of the Day: I’m

talking to Kat; and she basically says

she wants to give me head. Pretty much,

she told me she wanted to suck my dick.

But Caitlin’s, like, getting sick of the

open relationship thing.


RAUL

That is not a What-the-Fuck.


TIN

Why?


RAUL

It’s completely not valid. That’s You’re

a-Lucky-Bastard. What-the-Fuck is—


A guy on a bike comes flying by and almost hits Raul

RAUL

—Jesus. Um. (beat) Like, today in soc.

– I don’t know how it came up – we had

this whole conversation about how the

world is fucked.


Raul starts to get animated.

RAUL

And everyone’s fucking like “yeah, I

heard if we continue using our

resources at this rate, the Earth only

has fifty years” and all this bullshit.

Everyone loves to talk about how fucked

we are, but nobody does shit about

anything. What-the-Fuck?


TIN

No; it’s totally—


RAUL

Not valid. So not valid.


TIN

I’m saying, though. She’s like friends

with Caitlin. That’s fucked up. You

should have been there; she was … oh

man – she’s so fine too.


RAUL

What are you? It’s like you live this

fucking fantasy life. How do you exist?

I’m serious. How do you exist in the

world?


TIN

Fuck you – whatever. Just cuz you’re in

a dry spell right now; you had a bad

week and you’re—

RAUL

I’m not even talking about me. You’re

just this walking lottery ticket.

You’re like, like … who’s lucky?

Someone lucky. I hate you.


RAUL

You really need to not complain ever.


TIN

I’m not even complaining.


Tin stops walking.

RAUL

Whatever, man.


TIN

I think this is where we were.


RAUL

I don’t see it. It’s not here.


TIN

Well, look.


RAUL

It would be right here.


Tin looks around for the backpack.

TIN

Is that a dollar?


Tin picks up a dollar from the grass.

RAUL

That’s what I’m talking about. I lose

my backpack. You find a dollar.

Everything fucking works out for you.


TIN

It’s a twenty.


Raul is speechless.

TIN

You want to get some food?


RAUL

I want to find my backpack. But, if

you’re too busy acquiring wealth …


TIN

It’s not my fault you can’t keep track

of your shit.


RAUL

Fuck it. Let’s go find Katie.


TIN

She probably stole it. That bitch.


RAUL

Oh well.


TIN

Was there anything important in there?


RAUL

My cell phone. My keys. My wallet.

Shit.


TIN

Why would you leave that in your

backpack?


RAUL

Fuck you. I don’t have any pockets.


TIN

Okay. Sorry. Maybe someone picked it up.

You want to check in Wilder?


RAUL

It won’t be there.


TIN

It’s not like you have anything worth

stealing.


RAUL

Fuck you, man.


TIN

I’m just saying. Might as well check.


RAUL

Right.


TIN

Bright side. Katie wants you.


RAUL

Right.


TIN

Katie.


RAUL

You’re right. I’ll call Katie. Oh, wait,

I forgot. YOU DIDN’T GET HER NUMBER.


TIN

You can ask at the desk. They have all

the numbers.


Tin’s phone starts to ring.

TIN

Hold on.


Tin moves away to talk on the phone. Raul stands, bored, and we hear Tin’s conversation.

TIN (O.S.)

Hey. Oh, hi. What’s up? Yeah … um …

yeah, no; it’s no problem. Aw, I love

you. No, I love you. Of course, baby.

Of course I will. I’ll see you tonight?

mmmmm … I can’t wait. Oh wow. Okay,

I’ll be right there. Okay. Bye.


Tin comes back over to Raul.

TIN

Um. I just have to go see Caitlin. Real

quick. She left her wallet in my room.


Raul gestures a grudging acceptance.

TIN

Sorry, I’ll be right back.


RAUL

No, it’s fine. I’ll go to Wilder.


TIN

I’ll come find you?


RAUL

Sure.


Raul heads toward the Student Union.

INT. STUDENT UNION MAIN AREA
Raul goes to the information desk – a counter with a computer behind it – but, there’s no attendant.

RAUL

Excuse me. Hello. Is there anybody

working? Jesus.


He starts to walk away from the desk.

ATTENDANT 1

Do you need anything?


Raul turns, and now there are three ATTENDANTS behind the desk. Attendant 1, a helpful stoner, is leaning on the counter.

RAUL

What? Yes.


ATTENDANT 1

Well?


RAUL

Um. My backpack. I just lost my backpack.

It’s probably not here. I don’t know.


ATTENDANT 1

What does it look like?

RAUL

It’s … small and green. Black straps. I

think it’s a Jansport.


ATTENDANT 1

Wait. Hold on … we might have one like

that.


Attendant 2 looks up. He’s kind of dumb.

ATTENDANT 2

Yes. Someone just brought in a green

backpack. Is it a Jansport?


RAUL

I don’t know. I think so.


Attendant 3, a bitchy girl, is holding the backpack.

ATTENDANT 3

How do we know it’s yours? Can you prove

it’s yours?


RAUL

What? Could I just see it?


ATTENDANT 3

I don’t know. Do you have any proof?


RAUL

No.


ATTENDANT 3

Then I can’t show you the backpack.


ATTENDANT 2

She can’t show you the backpack if you

don’t have proof.


RAUL

I can’t prove that it’s my backpack.

Could you please show it to me.


ATTENDANT 1

Do you know what’s in it? If you can tell

us what’s inside, then maybe it’s yours.


RAUL

(flustered)

Fine. Does it have a cell phone in it?


ATTENDANT 1

Does it?


Attendant 3 paws through the bag.

ATTENDANT 3

(reluctantly)

Yes.


ATTENDANT 2

Then you have to give him the bag.


Attendant 3 hands over the bag. Raul examines it, but it’s not his bag.

RAUL

No. This isn’t mine.


ATTENDANT 3

See!


COPY GIRL comes up to the desk and asks for help with the copy machine. Attendant 1 goes to help her.

ATTENDANT 2

Give it back. Excuse me, give me the

bag.


The phone behind the desk rings.

RAUL

I’m not trying to steal the bag. Okay?

Here.


Raul hands the bag back. Attendant 3 answers the phone.

ATTENDANT 3

Hi, baby. No, it’s fine.


Attendant 2 starts organizing the lost and found.

RAUL

Wait. Excuse me.


Attendant 3 gives Raul a dirty look and mouths “phone.”

RAUL

Excuse me? Hi.


Attendant 2 looks up.

ATTENDANT 2

Just a minute.


Raul waits for a minute. Attendant 2 keeps reorganizing the same three items, moving them around, straightening.

RAUL

I just need one quick thing.


ATTENDANT 2

Just a minute.


He gets all the items lined up perfectly, then goes to the front counter.

ATTENDANT 2

Yes?


RAUL

Do you have the Fussers?


ATTENDANT 2

I’m sorry?


RAUL

The Fussers. The directory?


ATTENDANT 2

I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.


RAUL

The Fussers. Do you have the phone

directory? The list of phone numbers.


ATTENDANT 2

You mean the phone list?


RAUL

Yes. The phone list.


ATTENDANT 2

I’m not sure. I don’t think so.


RAUL

This is the information desk. You don’t

have the directory?


Attendant 2 stares at him, blankly.

RAUL

The phone list! You don’t have it?


ATTENDANT 2

I’m really not sure.


RAUL

Well, could you look?


Attendant 2 glances around.

ATTENDANT 2

I don’t see it.


RAUL

Maybe it’s under the desk. Could you

please look for it?


ATTENDANT 2

I don’t think we have it.


RAUL

You have it. You‘re working at the

information desk. This is the

information desk. You definitely have

the directory.


ATTENDANT 2

I’m sorry, maybe we used to have it,

but I really don’t see it.


RAUL

(to Attendant 3)

Excuse me. Do you know where the …

phone list is?


Attendant 3 glares at him.

ATTENDANT 3

I’m on the phone.


She turns back to her conversation.

ATTENDANT 3

No, I’m listening.


Attendant 1 comes back to the desk.

RAUL

(almost frantically)

Do you know where the phone list is?


ATTENDANT 1

Yes.


Attendant 3 gets off the phone. Attendant 1 effortlessly finds the directory, which is under the desk, and hands it to Raul.

ATTENDANT 1

Here you go.


RAUL

Thank you!


He flips through and finds the name.

RAUL

Katie Crane. Can I use the phone?


ATTENDANT 3

That phone is not for personal phone

calls.


Raul is silent.

ATTENDANT 1

You can use the phone upstairs, or the

one downstairs.


RAUL

Thank you.


Raul heads upstairs.

INT. TIN’S DORM ROOM
Tin and Caitlin are standing in the doorway, kissing heavily. The room is bathed in red; sexy music is playing.

TIN

I should really go.


CAITLIN

Okay.


They keep making out; Caitlin starts to unbutton Tin’s shirt.

INT. STUDENT UNION UPSTAIRS PHONE
Raul comes upstairs. Katie’s Friend is on the phone, sobbing.

KATIE’S FRIEND

Can’t we just stay together? Please?

David? David, please don’t hang up.

Please! I’m sorry.


Katie’s Friend clings to the receiver and collapses against the phone. Raul waits for her to stop, but she continues clinging to the phone and sobbing. Raul turns and heads back down the stairs.

INT. STUDENT UNION DOWNSTAIRS PHONE
Obnoxious Man is on the phone downstairs.

OBNOXIOUS MAN

Why don’t we just go tomorrow, then?

We don’t have to see it tonight. No,

well, I want to see it too, but if

you’re tired … I know. Well … well,

you could take a nap, and we could see

a later show. I don’t mind. Well, think

about it … no, I’ll wait.


Obnoxious Man stands in silence, holding the phone.

RAUL

Do you think I could use the phone?

Real quick.

OBNOXIOUS MAN

I’m using it.


RAUL

Right. (pause) I couldn’t help but

notice you’re not talking.


OBNOXIOUS MAN

I’m on the phone. Use the pay phone.


RAUL

I don’t have …


Obnoxious Man turns his attention back to the phone.

OBNOXIOUS MAN

You sure? Okay? So, we’ll just go

tomorrow. Sure.


Obnoxious Man gives Raul a pointed look.

OBNOXIOUS MAN

No, I’ve got lots of time … really? No,

that does sound like a weird dream.


Raul goes back upstairs.

INT. TIN’S DORM ROOM
Tin is shirtless, on his bed. The sexy music and lighting intensify. Caitlin takes her shirt off.

TIN

Just five minutes.


Caitlin slips out of her pants.

INT. STUDENT UNION MAIN AREA
Attendant 3 is back on the desk phone. Raul turns toward the stairs. Katie’s Friend is coming down the stairs. Raul sprints upstairs.

INT. STUDENT UNION UPSTAIRS PHONE
Raul grabs the phone. He realizes he doesn’t have the number.

RAUL

Fuck.


INT. STUDENT UNION MAIN AREA
Raul hastily scribbles Katie’s phone number from the directory onto his hand and sprints back upstairs.

INT. STUDENT UNION UPSTAIRS PHONE
Raul checks the number and dials. The phone rings and MARY answers.

MARY

(filtered)

Hello?


RAUL

Hi. Katie?


MARY

(filtered)

No.


RAUL

Is Katie there?


MARY

(filtered)

No. She moved. This isn’t her room

anymore. Hold on. I’ll be right there.


RAUL

Um. Okay. (pause) Could I get her

new number?


MARY

(filtered)

I don’t know the number.


RAUL

Do you know where she moved?


MARY

(filtered)

I’m coming. Look, I have to go.


Mary hangs up.

RAUL

Shit.


Raul hangs up.

INT. STUDENT UNION MAIN AREA – 10:40
Raul is sitting on a couch in the Student Union. He looks at the clock.

INT. STUDENT UNION UPSTAIRS PHONE
Raul picks up the phone and calls Tin.

INT. TIN’S DORM ROOM
Caitlin is going down on Tin. The phone rings and rings, barely audible beneath the music.

INT. STUDENT UNION UPSTAIRS PHONE
Raul hangs up the phone.

RAUL

Bastard.


Raul goes back downstairs.

EXT. STUDENT UNION
Raul walks down the stairs of the Student Union. It starts to drizzle. He walks toward Tin’s dorm in the rain.

EXT. TIN’S DORMITORY
Raul stands outside of Tin’s dorm. He can’t get in, because he doesn’t have his ID. Raul bangs on the door. The building does not have an awning. It rains harder.

INT. TIN’S DORM ROOM
Caitlin and Tin, having sex, are interrupted by the sound of small rocks hitting the window.

RAUL

(O/S)

Tin!


Tin and Caitlin stop having sex.

CAITLIN

What is that?


One pane of the window shatters and a rock flies into the room.

EXT. TIN’S DORMITORY
Raul stands in the rain, holding a rock, looking up at Tin’s broken window.

RAUL

Shit.


INT. TIN’S DORM ROOM
Raul, wet and annoyed, stands near the door. The rain stops. Caitlin is leaving, sheepishly.

CAITLIN

You sure you don’t want to come?


TIN

Where are you going?


CAITLIN

Denny’s. I just have to get off campus.


TIN

Yeah …


Tin gestures to Raul.

TIN

… I can’t really go.


Caitlin leaves, closing the door.

RAUL

Fuck you, man.


TIN

Did you find the number?


RAUL

You’re a fucking asshole, you know

that?


Tin’s dorm phone rings. Tin checks his caller ID.

TIN

It’s Cleo.


RAUL

I’m not going to the party.


TIN

Well, I’ll let you explain that to Cleo.


Tin picks up the phone.

RAUL

Don’t. No.


TIN

Hello? Hi. Yeah, I know. I was on my

way, but … well, hold on. Talk to Raul.


RAUL

Tin—


Tin puts the phone next to Raul’s head.

RAUL

Hi, Cleo … No. I’m sorry, I … I’m

supposed to be hanging out with Katie

tonight … Katie Crane. She is? Yeah,

I’ll … okay … we’ll be right there.


Raul quickly hangs up the phone.

RAUL

Let’s go.


TIN

I thought you weren’t going to the

party.


RAUL

I changed my mind.


TIN

Are you sure?


Raul tries to drag Tin out the door.

RAUL

Come on.


TIN

Wouldn’t want to make any hasty

decisions.


RAUL

Tin—


TIN

I’m coming.


Tin grabs a book from his bookshelf.

TIN

I just have to catch up on …


He checks the title.

TIN

Anna Karenina. This is the best part.

It’ll just take a second.


Raul gives Tin a dirty look.

TIN

No, it’s really good.


Raul grabs the book from his hand and throws it across the room.

TIN

I’m coming.


Tin grabs his jacket and Raul hurries him out the door.

INT. CLEO’S HOUSE – NIGHT
The house is packed. Tin and Raul enter. ROB and PHOEBE are making out on a couch near the door. Phoebe is gorgeous; Rob is a creep.

RAUL

Oh my God, it’s Phoebe.


Tin peers down at the couch.

TIN

That’s Phoebe?


RAUL

Hide.


Raul looks for someplace to hide, but there’s nowhere.

TIN

You’re an idiot.


Tin moves toward the center of the room.

RAUL

I’m leaving.


Raul starts to go, but he trips and bumps into ROB’S FRIEND, who shoves him towards the couch.

ROB’S FRIEND

Watch where you’re going.


Raul stumbles into the couch. Phoebe, entwined with Rob, looks up.

PHOEBE

Raul, hi. Have you met Rob?


ROB

Hi.


RAUL

Hi.


They pause for an awkward moment. Then, Raul turns away and Phoebe and Rob resume making out. Attendant 2 and Spray Man walk out the door, holding hands.

SPRAY MAN

Greg, I have something to show you.


INT. CLEO’S HOUSE
Raul and Tin have moved away from the couch. Raul stands, awkwardly, while Tin scopes out the room. The Hippies are chanting in the corner of the room.

HIPPIES

Trombong! Trombong! Trombong! Trombong!


Attendant 1 carries The Trombong, a trombone rigged up to serve as a bong, into the room. The Hippies take turns on The Trombong.

RAUL

Why is my life such a horribly awkward

social disaster?


KAT sees Tin and rushes over. She’s tiny, wearing a skimpy outfit.

KAT

Raul, hey.


She wraps herself around Tin.

KAT

Hi Tin.


TIN

Hi.


RAUL

Kat, um—


KAT

(to Tin) Did you come with Caitlin?


TIN

No.


RAUL

Have you seen Katie?


KAT

I don’t think so. (to Tin) Are you

doing anything after the party?


RAUL

Oh my God, nachos.


Raul flees towards the food.

TIN

I don’t know. I’m supposed to do stuff

with Raul. He had a really shitty week.


KAT

Yeah, I heard. That’s so horrible.


TIN

He’s … overreacting.


KAT

No. Have you ever had a dog die? It

totally sucks.


TIN

What are you talking about?


KAT

Raul’s dog … this little, like,

Chihuahua or something, got, like eaten

by a pit bull.


TIN

Are you fucking me?


KAT

He didn’t tell you?


TIN

No. He just told me about shit with

this girl.


KAT

Phoebe? Yeah, that’s pretty fucked up

too. (slight pause) So, do you want to …


TIN

I don’t know.


KAT

Why?


Kat lowers her voice.

KAT

Because of Caitlin? I thought you

had an open relationship.


TIN

Well …


KAT

So you can do what you want.


TIN

Yeah.


KAT

Okay.


INT. SNACK TABLE
Raul is tearing into a huge plate of food and guzzling a Sprite. CLEO sees him and comes over. She’s wearing a dress over pants, crazy socks, and a button that says “Birthday Girl.”

CLEO

Enjoying the comestibles?


RAUL

Do you have any meat?


CLEO

I think you’re out of luck, Sancho.


RAUL

I hate vegetarians … did you just call

me Sancho?


CLEO

I always think of you as Sancho Panza

to my Don Quixote. I never told you

that?


RAUL

Who’s the windmill?


CLEO

You mean Cyclops. You are my Cyclops,

also.


RAUL

I don’t want to be the Cyclops. Cyclops

are ugly.


CLEO

Well, you can’t have everything; can you

dear?

RAUL

Have you seen Katie?


CLEO

Noooooooooooooo.


RAUL

Is she still here?


CLEO

I did a bad thing.


RAUL

What, did she leave?


CLEO

Come here. (whispers) I only said she

was here so you’d come to my party,

dipshit.


RAUL

She’s not here?


CLEO

Before you yell, you should probably

wish me a happy birthday. It’s the

custom. And you’re almost out of time.


RAUL

I’m sorry. Happy Birthday. But, is she

here?


CLEO

Doesn’t matter. I know what to expect

from you. Though, I can’t believe you

were going to skip my party.


RAUL

Cleo—


Cleo takes a carrot stick off of Raul’s plate.


CLEO

What are you doing with Katie Crane,

anyway? Or, more accurately, what do

you wish you were doing with Katie

Crane?


RAUL

Is she here?


CLEO

Raul. Could we please focus on what’s

important? What does my present look

like? What is the shape? I like them

square. Cubed.


RAUL

I’ve got to go. I have to find Tin.


CLEO

I would check upstairs.


RAUL

Already? Jesus.


CLEO

But – Raul – seriously. Stay away from

Katie. That whole crowd … is that what

you really want? Those girls are bad

for you. You’re going to end up like

Tin.


RAUL

Do you know where Katie lives?


CLEO

Did you hear what I said?


RAUL

Look, I understand. But, it’s not a big

deal.


CLEO

Then, why are you looking for her?


RAUL

I’m just really stressed. I want to

relax.


CLEO

I didn’t know she was a masseuse.

RAUL

Could you stop?


CLEO

Although, from what I hear, her room

is kind of like a massage parlor. With

lots of customers.


RAUL

Are you done? Cuz, I’m going to go.


CLEO

Have fun.


Raul walks away.

INT. CLEO’S HOUSE
Raul walks through the living room. Rob is standing in the doorway, talking on a cell phone.

ROB

Okay, I’ll be right there.


Rob’s Friend walks up.

ROB’S FRIEND

Your girlfriend is looking for you.


ROB

I know.


Rob walks out the front door and down the sidewalk.

INT. CLEO’S BEDROOM DOOR
Raul stands outside of Cleo’s bedroom. Tin and Kat are having sex inside the room, not loudly, but audibly.

EXT. CLEO’S BACK PORCH
Raul is sitting on Cleo’s back porch. Cleo comes up and sits next to him.

CLEO

You’re still here? Which means they

must still be up there. Which is just

as well.

RAUL

What makes you say that?


CLEO

Kat’s boyfriend just got here.


RAUL

I’m pretty sure he’s an ex, now.


CLEO

I’m guessing they don’t see eye to eye

on that. He’s about to flip out.


RAUL

He’s actually not a bad guy, though.

Extenuating circumstances.


CLEO

I should go back inside and bond with

him. Our exes are having sex; doesn’t

that makes us, like, second cousins?


RAUL

I think – in Kansas.


CLEO

Hey, look what I found.


Cleo gives Raul his backpack.

RAUL

Where did you find this?


CLEO

On Tappan.


Raul goes through the backpack, everything is still inside.

RAUL

Thank you.


Katie looks away.

CLEO

Look, if you really want to know where

Katie lives, I’ll tell you. (pause) She

lives in South 320.


A gesture of defeat.

CLEO

Go in peace.


Cleo goes back inside. Raul makes his way through the party, out the front door, and down the sidewalk.

INT. KATIE’S HALL
Raul walks down the hall, looking at the names and numbers on the doors. 320 and 321 are both labeled Katie. Raul hesitates between the two. He eventually chooses 320 and knocks on the door.

KATIE

(O/S)

Just a minute. Could you get it?


Several moments pass before Rob, wearing boxers, opens the door. Raul rechecks the name on the door.

RAUL

What are you doing here?


Rob stares at Raul, trying to place him.

RAUL

Is Katie here?


ROB

Katie.


KATIE

(O/S)

What?


Rob gestures to Raul. Katie comes to the door, partially clothed. Raul shuffles, uncomfortably.

RAUL

… Tin said you wanted to hang out.


KATIE

What?

RAUL

What’s up?


KATIE

I’m kind of busy.


RAUL

Yeah. Maybe we could hang out later?


KATIE

Okay. Bye.


Katie closes the door. Raul wanders down the hall.

EXT. THE QUAD – LATE NIGHT/EARLY MORNING
Raul walks across the grass. There’s nobody around, except Attendant 3 and Rob’s Friend making out in the middle of the quad.

INT. SNACK BAR
Raul sits in a booth, behind Sandwich Girl and Obnoxious Man. Listening to their conversation, Raul becomes progressively annoyed.

SANDWICH GIRL

No one else could do that. No one else

could even try to do it.


OBNOXIOUS MAN

That’s because, he’s … Michael Moore is

the archetype. If you want to look at

people who are making a difference, who

are you going to look at? You going to

look at politicians? Because you can’t

look to politicians. You want to look

at the media?


SANDWICH GIRL

No.


OBNOXIOUS MAN

Because, what is the media doing?


SANDWICH GIRL

What does the media do, except,

except—


OBNOXIOUS MAN

Except broadcast crap and, and attempt

to brainwash the public, in support of

a weak liberal-centrist agenda. So, you

can’t look to the media. But, what does

he do? It’s genius. The man is his own

media.


SANDWICH GIRL

And his own politics.


OBNOXIOUS MAN

But not controlled by business and

not driven by a need—


SANDWICH GIRL

A thirst.


OBNOXIOUS MAN

A thirst for power. A need to be

re-elected. And that’s why he’s able to

do as much as he does.


Raul gets up and starts railing at them.

RAUL

What does Michael Moore do? What the

fuck does he do? He makes stupid people

look stupid. He – who is he helping?

All it is … is complaining about how

shitty everything is and who’s fault

it is. You can sit there and blame

everybody else, but it’s not going to

make anything better. Why don’t you

take some responsibility for yourself?

Jesus.


Sandwich Girl and Obnoxious Man are appalled.

EXT. STUDENT UNION – NIGHT
Raul stands outside in the dark. He’s alone for a while, and then Phoebe walks by.

RAUL

Phoebe, hey. How was the party? Where

are you going?

PHOEBE

I’m just walking.


RAUL

Want some company?


PHOEBE

Sure.


They walk for a minute; Raul looks for something to say.

RAUL

How was the party?


PHOEBE

It was a long night.


RAUL

Yeah? Me too, for the ninth time this

week.


PHOEBE

What do you mean?


RAUL

Nothing. It was just a bad week.


PHOEBE

What happened?


RAUL

… bunch of stuff. My dog died. You know?


PHOEBE

Yeah.


RAUL

What about you?


PHOEBE

What?


RAUL

What happened?


PHOEBE

Oh. I had a bad night. So I took a walk.


RAUL

Yeah.


PHOEBE

Have you seen Rob?


RAUL

… no. Why?


PHOEBE

Someone said you left the party

together. Or left at the same time.

Nevermind, it’s stupid.


They walk in silence for a moment.

RAUL

It’s too bad the project’s over. I

really liked working with you.


PHOEBE

Yeah. It was fun.


RAUL

It was.


PHOEBE

Raul. Can I tell you something?


RAUL

What?


PHOEBE

(slowly)

I feel kind of alone. I mean, I have

a boyfriend and everything, but …


RAUL

… what?


PHOEBE

… I’m sorry if I led you on.


RAUL

What? Oh … no. What do you mean?


PHOEBE

I just – I think I sort of gave out

mixed signals.


RAUL

I don’t think so. I mean … thank you,

but …


PHOEBE

This is my dorm.


INT. PHOEBE’S DORMITORY
Phoebe and Raul enter the dorm.

RAUL

So, are you going to sleep, now?


PHOEBE

I think I’ll be up for a while.


Phoebe leads Raul towards her room.

INT. PHOEBE’S ROOM
Raul and Phoebe sit on the bed, eating ice cream.

PHOEBE

He always, you know, when I get mad, he

knows what to say to make me not mad

anymore. But then he just disappears.


RAUL

What are you going to do if it turns

out he’s cheating?


PHOEBE

He is. He so is. God. I’m so stupid.


RAUL

No. (pause) I guess I should go.


Phoebe moves closer on the bed and hugs Raul.

PHOEBE

Thanks for listening.


He starts to gather up his things and move towards the door.

RAUL

I’ll see you later.


PHOEBE

Do you want to stay?


Raul stops.

RAUL

I should … go to sleep. (long pause)

Bye.


He walks out; the door closes behind him.

EXT. PHOEBE’S DORMITORY
Raul walks across the quad.

EXT. CLEO’S HOUSE
Raul walks up Cleo’s front steps.

INT. CLEO’S HOUSE
Raul walks in. The house is a mess; Cleo is cleaning up.

CLEO

Isn’t it traditional to stay the night?

I didn’t know you were such a Lothario.


RAUL

Are you cleaning up by yourself?


CLEO

Are you helping?


RAUL

Ouch.


Raul starts cleaning up.

INT. CLEO’S HOUSE – A WHILE LATER
The room is marginally cleaner; Raul and Cleo are still straightening up.

RAUL

Did I miss anything good?

CLEO

You missed Kat flipping out when,

surprise, Tin left with someone else.

Oh, and the Hipsters came out to play.


RAUL

Fun.


CLEO

I captured one. He separated from the

flock to criticize my CD collection and

I held him captive for twelve minutes

on the topic of Herzog’s early classics.


RAUL

No way.


CLEO

Twelve minutes.


RAUL

That’s a new record. We need to

celebrate.


Raul goes to the snack table for alcohol, but all the bottles are empty.

RAUL

Too late. So, why aren’t you trashed?

It’s your birthday.


CLEO

I’m 21. I have the rest of my life to

get trashed.


RAUL

You didn’t drink at all?


CLEO

I took a hit from the Trombong.


RAUL

Just one?


CLEO

A big hit.


RAUL

So, it was a good party?


CLEO

Well, I’ll be washing my sheets, tomorrow.

So I must have had a good night.


RAUL

Clearly.


Comfortable silence.

CLEO

Should I assume you’re crashing here?


Raul half-shrugs. They gather up the last cups and dishes, carry them to the kitchen, turn out the lights, and head upstairs.

INT. CLEO’S BEDROOM
Raul and Cleo enter Cleo’s bedroom. Cleo disposes of a condom wrapper and makes the bed. They go to sleep on top of the covers in a platonic, but semi-suggestive position.

CLEO

Good night.


Raul mumbles unintelligibly and rolls over.

FADE OUT

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